I wrote this poem at a low point in my life when I had experienced emotional pain. I felt helpless in my situation and was sure my heart was broken irreparably and my head would certainly explode. When I look back on poems such as this, I am always so taken aback by the darkness of my thoughts and the sheer helplessness that I felt at that time. I eventually got beyond the hurt and was able to live a happy life again, but I find it quite shocking to revisit that state of mind. Just the act of writing down these feelings has proven to be therapeutic. It shows me that by letting my words flow onto paper, to describe those emotions and question why, I was able to heal and move on.
I hope these words of mine will somehow resonate with you.
Despair
The darkness came so suddenly
Enveloping me and dragging me into a pit of despair
Blinded and scratching for clarity
Shocked by the swiftness of events, I call to you
You do not hear
You do not listen, you are closed
What is evident is your hurt and anger
As much as I try, you resist me
I want to help and heal your wounds
That were so carelessly inflicted in your past
Dazed and confused
I am lost without you
My love spurned and my efforts rejected
My promise to keep you safe from future pain
Falls on deaf ears
The loss of you is too much to bear
My hurt is deep
Like the slice of a knife through my heart
It will not heal
I did not know how broken you were
And now I know to my detriment
Christine Bolton
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