Revenge – A Dizain

Revenge

Her hair long and black as a raven’s wing
Glorious, loose curls falling down her back
She walked to forget his words that did sting
Not realizing she had come off track
 
Stopping briefly, she put down her backpack
and stood staring up at the vast blue sky
 
Realizing she knew the answer why
He was insecure, she was beautiful
But did he really have to make her cry?
His actions had left her feeling vengeful
 
 
Christine Bolton - Poetry for Healing ©

Frank Hubeny is hosted at D'Verse Poets tonight
and has challenged ged us with a Dizain.
The form is 10 lines with 10 syllables per line
with a rhyme pattern of ababbccdcd
This is my first attempt at this form

  17 comments for “Revenge – A Dizain

  1. August 1, 2019 at 11:58 pm

    Beautiful first attempt though 😍

    • Christine Bolton
      August 2, 2019 at 8:31 am

      Thanks so much. It was more difficult than it looks!!

  2. August 2, 2019 at 1:30 am

    Her hair long and black like a raven’s wing, great descriptor, Christine. I like the way you broke up the lines into 4-2-4 stanzas. It works well for your turn.

    • Christine Bolton
      August 2, 2019 at 8:31 am

      Thanks Lisa. I found this form quite difficult 😏

      • August 2, 2019 at 2:09 pm

        I’m experimenting with different ways of using it.

  3. August 2, 2019 at 7:59 am

    i liked the connection between his insecurity and her revenge

    • August 2, 2019 at 12:38 pm

      Thanks Gina. I think it was supposed to have two sides like a sonnet, I hope anyway! 🙂

      • August 2, 2019 at 7:30 pm

        I think it paired well like bookends Christine

      • Christine Bolton
        August 2, 2019 at 9:03 pm

        Thank you Gina 🙂💕

  4. August 2, 2019 at 12:36 pm

    I like how you split the dizain into three parts. I am going to have to try doing this.

    • August 2, 2019 at 12:41 pm

      Thanks Frank. It was the only way I could keep the thread! Counting all this syllables kept moving me off track 😞👍🙂

  5. August 5, 2019 at 12:33 pm

    Nicely executed Dizain Christine. Engaging read – good job.

    • Christine Bolton
      August 5, 2019 at 12:44 pm

      Thank you so much for that Rob!nnI found it so difficult to do 😬

  6. August 6, 2019 at 8:25 am

    Interesting subject, and excellent dizain. I love what you did with that middle stanza.

    • Christine Bolton
      August 6, 2019 at 8:34 am

      Thank you so much Rosemary! That means so much to me 🙂 I had never tried this form before. It’s tricky isn’t it?

      • August 6, 2019 at 8:41 am

        You’ve mastered it very well, especially for a first attempt.

      • Christine Bolton
        August 6, 2019 at 8:45 am

        Thanks again for a great challenge 🙂

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