What Am I Doing Here?
Opening my eyes I saw sunlight streaking through the blinds. My heart fell instantly with a thud as I realized I was in the guest room. Again.
The previous day had been fairly uneventful and we had chugged along with the rhythm of two married people who knew each other very well. My husband, needy and bad-tempered due to some physical demands, and me, the enabler. Most of the time it worked, but on some occasions, particularly when I was tired from giving all the extra attention, that’s when the fireworks fly.
He’d snapped an order at me. I appeased him and chose to be quiet while I tried to cope with the feelings welling up inside of me. What am I doing here? I am miserable but “I prefer keeping in mind even the possibility that existence has its own reason for being.”
Copyright © 2021 Christine Bolton – Poetry for HealingAll Rights Reserved
Merril is hosting Prosery Monday at D’Verse Poets tonight and has prompted us with the following line from the poem “Possibilities” by Polish poet, Wislawa Szymborska
“I prefer keeping in mind even the possibility that existence has its own reason for being.”
We are to create a piece of flash fiction of no more than 144 words, excluding the title, and include the line in its entirety.
So much pain condensed into this little snippet. The specific details really bring it to life. I don’t know what is worse….the horrible men that treat women this way, or the way women find themselves trapped and continue to enable for various reasons.
This sounds like a very miserable and dysfunctional relationship. You picked up on the cornerstone of it with ‘My husband, needy and bad-tempered due to some physical demands, and me, the enabler.’ In the end it can only lead to resentment on both sides.
Yes a very tough situation for many and COVID has not helped at all. 😢
I like the way you hooked me with the abruptness of ‘sunlight streaking through the blinds’, Christine, which suggested so many avenues your story could take. And then you brought me back to earth with the guest room! That kind of relationship must be so wearing.
Aww thanks Kim ☺️ I appreciate it.
Christine, I love how you made that deep line somehow flow in the stream of a common human life. I never would have thought of that. You did a terrific job.
Yours,
David
Thanks David. I appreciate it ☺️
So very powerful depicting an unfortunately all too common situation. It’s extremely sad but at least she is starting to see these dynamics are unhealthy and that she is miserable being in such marriage. Very well-written about the horrors of domestic violence and what it does to a person.
Thank you so much Lucy ☺️ I hope you are doing well 💕
good write on a difficult subject
Thank you so much ☺️
Very sad place to be in. A very well told story.
Yes, so much suffering that we never get to see
Exactly.
A great story of a very difficult existent! I am sure you question gets asked everyday by many. Not all come up with the same answer!
This was engaging Christine, well written.
Thanks Rob ☺️
Powerful snippet. Enjoyed reading this prosery piece.
Thank you so much ☺️
This is so raw and evocative! The issue of domestic violence has gotten worse during Covid. So much goes on behind closed curtains… and there are so many women suffering 🙁
Yes this is very true Sanaa. Thank you ☺️
So very sad to say yet another “ripple” effect of this year of Covid and the issues that malign themselves when individuals are stuck inside together. I fear we will never know the true cost of this pandemic….so much of it behind closed doors.
Yes, sadly we are seeing a lot of this. COVID has certainly claimed many victims 😢
I think the true purpose here is to leave… such a terrible situation, but at least there is a glimmer of hope in the end.
Thanks Bjorn. Yes, always a glimmer of hope ☺️
I’m glad she at least has the energy to wonder, which may be the germination of a seed that’s been dormant for awhile. Excellent storytelling, Christine.
Thank you Lisa. I appreciate it ☺️
Oh, what a sad situation! I just commented on another post about domestic violence during Covid. I hope this person gets help and out of this situation.
Thanks Merril. I hope it made good use of the line ☺️
You’re welcome!