When you cheated on her
you cheated on me too
Catching you red-handed
the shock on your face priceless
My eight-year-old brain struggled
Manipulation and bribery
A new toy for my silence
Will you tell or can you keep a secret?
you asked of me
I was a kid, I was confused
Left to my own devices
Struggling with what I witnessed
And the silence asked of me
I did my best until I didn’t
I gave away your secret father,
Not to sting
But for both of you,
to face the truth
And then the fiery gates of hell opened
consuming us all
Living in the middle
begging you both to stop
fighting tooth and nail
I was unseen and unheard
But used as the conduit
relaying your messages
Breaking your icy silence
For years I carried that pain
Still hurting today
How you both used me
to fight your battles
Scarred for every relationship
Trying to fix your problems
in my own marriages
But I forgive you
Copyright © 2022 Christine Bolton - Poetry for Healing
All Rights Reserved
It's Open Link Night at D'Verse Poets
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
It is a lot to carry for a child, and I don’t think you should be blamed for what you did… still I think you still feel some guilt even as a victim of being used.
Sadly the guilt does linger well into adulthood 😢
This hurts to read because I know it’s a sad reality for many. Forgiveness is a very hard act and requires tons of will. Mad respect for you, CB ✌️
Thanks M Jay. I really appreciate it. You have to forgive. ☺️💕
Glad that you’re healed. A difficult situation for a child to cope with.
Yes it was. Thanks for the kind words. ☺️❤️
Dearest heart 💜 I relate… obviously now as an adult you know it’s not your fault, it wasn’t on you… that wound will heal after every drop of this pain is revealed and you give it to the universe… you do not have to carry their shit around, what a blessing to know you do not have to own that pain as your own. 💚
Thank you. I really appreciate that. ❤️ I don’t take blame for anything. The only thing that saddens me is that the scars it left affected future relationships. Trust issues in particular
….. hence why I said what I said. That shit is rooted in blame guilt and shame beloved.
Indeed it is. I’m releasing it all ☺️👍💕
This is incredibly moving, Christine. I am so relieved to hear that you have healed from this … thank you for sharing.
Thanks Sanaa. Yes, ancient history ☺️💕
How tragic it is to use a child to fight their battles.
It certainly is Sadje 😢
Hits very close to home.
For many I’m sure Melissa. Thanks for stopping by ☺️💕
Oh I am so very sorry for this experience you’d had and still carry with you. When a child is caught in the middle of a parents’ feud, it is so heartbreaking and can be so cruel. And most especially when the parents either do not understand or ignore the needs of the child….and do not understand that what is said and done when the child is young, will be carried for many many years. I wish for you serenity and the healing warmth of love and laughter.
Oh you’re so sweet Lillian ☺️❤️. I am healed. It was all so long ago and I understand my parents did the best they could, although misguided. I grew up hearing my mother say “I’m only staying with him for the sake of the children.” It was like oh no, please don’t. They didn’t understand the damage and baggage we dragged through life 😕