At difficult times in our lives when we experience emotional pain, some of us will search for relief by talking through their heartache with another person. Others will pick up a pen and begin to write out their thoughts either by journaling, or in my case, writing poetry. Over the years poetry has helped me heal and it has opened my mind to an understanding and acceptance that life is a balancing act.
Although I live a wonderfully fulfilled life now, it hasn’t always been so. My childhood was messy with family dramas, betrayals and the divorce of my parents.
Needless to say, being the youngest child, my early years and teenage years were fraught with secrets, silences and many unanswered questions while my family members dealt with their life problems, excluding me in the process. I grew up a confused child who overcompensated for the unhappiness in her family by learning to keep her own secrets, and being able to put on a front, so that the outside world would never know of our problems. Perhaps it was the time of where and when I grew up. No one talked about their problems and there was a shame to having a broken family.
This is when my poetry began. It came from a dark place of pain and a need to speak and be heard. With no one to turn to, I picked up a pen and notebook and allowed my words to flow. If, at that time, I’d had a chance to sit with a therapist, I would likely have not said a word. I did not know how to communicate the swirling, conflicted thoughts that were going through my young head. Let alone betray my parents and share their darkest moments with a stranger. They would never have forgiven me. So I lived with the guilt and shame and turned my pain into healing words that would ultimately heal me.
I read somewhere that poetry is so perfect that it doesn’t require full sentences. I think it must be true because when we are hurt and we try to rationalize our feelings, completing a sentence is not always possible.
This site is for those searching for some medicine for the heart and soul. I share my thoughts and poems in the hope you will find some comfort knowing that you are not alone in your pain and perhaps you too will be inspired to write out your thoughts and begin to heal.
Christine Bolton