Category: Humor

Never Liked You

Never Liked You

You are big and 
quite beautiful
to look at
The color of your skin
can sometimes
play trickery
Fooling us to what
is inside
Shades of yellow
and sometimes
Dark red
You sound like
you know who you are
but you confuse us
with your name
You look so sweet
and tantalizing
but you are
invariably sour
and can be quite nasty
I am sad to say
that I have
never liked you
and never will
I don’t know why
others find you
so special
You might be a fruit
but you are no grape
 
 
Christine Bolton - Poetry for Healing ©

Lisa from Tao Talk is guest hosting
at D'Verse Poets tonight. She has prompted
us to write about food.
Great to have you hosting Lisa!

Poetic Tag “Twas Not, Twas”

Fandango, from This, That and the Other has tagged me in a funny Poetic Tag originated by Rory, A Guy Called Bloke. He started another one of his “Not Just My Verse” poetry blog hops. He wrote the first stanza, then passed it on to Paula of Light Motifs II and she sent it on to Fandango and so on. Below is the poem so far.

It’s “Twas Not Twas!

So here’s how Rory started things off:

I am sure, well pretty sure NO, of course l am sure!
Twas not twas, twas not there before!
And yet, here l am looking upon it with widened eyes …
This thing that twasn’t, and yet now it twas a surprise!

Then Paula followed up with:

When I told my friends what had transpired,
They laughed and said I must be a liar,
For things like THAT surely are not real;
Then it came back and said let’s make a deal.

Then Fandango:

So it wants to make a deal?
Well that does have some appeal.
I asked it, “Whatsit all about?”
And that twas when it started to shout.

Here is my contribution:

Yes, whatsit all about Alfie?
Do you have bats in your belfry?
Was it this or was it that?
I know ‘twasn’t tit for tat

Okay. I’m going to pass the poetic baton to:

Kristian of Tales from the Mind of Kristian

Have fun with it Kristian 🙂

Tropicana – A Lai

Tropicana

A red bandana
brought from Havana
Lou wore 
She was Rosanna
from south Savannah
She swore
They ate bananas
in their pajamas
Galore!
Singing hosannas
in the cabana
next door
Carlos Santana
Hannah Montana
do more

They shouted out loud
to quieten the crowd
Please cease!
Rosanna allowed
Santana to cloud
her peace
Hannah of course vowed
she would remain proud
At least
Now Lou never cowed
With gun, in he ploughed
Police!
Santana in shroud
Carried out unbowed
Deceased

 
Christine Bolton - Poetry for Healing ©

Grace was hosting DVerse Poets tonight and
challenged us to write a Lai
The Lai
This form looks to be a very simple form comprising of a
five syllabled couplet followed by a two syllable line.
The number of lines in each stanza is fixed at nine and
the couplets must rhyme with each other, as the two
syllable lines must also rhyme. In English this line is
probably the most difficult part of the poem.
The stanza's rhyme pattern is... a. a. b. a. a. b. a. a. b. 
This is my first attempt at this!
 

Holy Cow!

I have just completed the 31 days of poetry challenge with OctPoWriMo, which I took very seriously. However I looked at the prompts today and nothing was speaking to me. So to reward myself for being diligent for the past month, I came up with the nonsense below.  It just flowed and the sillier it became the more I liked it!  Please forgive my indulgence.  I’ll be back on track tomorrow!

Holy Cow!

He was roving the countryside
Until he came alongside
A poor cow stuck in a fence
Her leg was caught in the wire
Half her body lying in the mire
Things were looking quite tense

She was mooing so loudly
But held herself together proudly
Her pain was obviously wicked
He tried to help her get loose
Struggling just tightened the noose
Her limb was looking crooked

He was fearing the worst
But there was a cloudburst
It was raining cats and dogs
She started to have a tantrum
So his guitar he began to strum
As he sat down on some logs

The music to her was calming
He could see she was a Brahman
A cow of the highest quality
If he could only free the bovine
Perhaps the owner would offer a goldmine
It was a matter of her dignity

She had slipped lower into the mud
The rain had left quite a flood
But he finally freed the poor cow
As the owner appeared
His reward he feared
Might be less than he had now

A bonanza was not on the cards
Not by many a yard
The cow was ownerless
The man who came
Was just playing a game
It was time to reassess

 

Christine Bolton – Poetry for Healing ©

Word Prompts:

Roving

Loose

Tantrum

Wicked

Bonanza

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Kingdom

Kingdom

He dominated his kingdom
As a true ruler never should
playing dominoes with servants
whenever he could

Although his indomitable skill
Preceded him in the land
His Dominican queen
could never understand

As head of the domicile
She banned it by demand
His passion for a stupid game
So random and unplanned

Her boredom was of the play
That never tested his skills
Just a game of luck she said
You should work on the treasury bill

Pressured by the queen’s wisdom
Which was pure omniscience
He finally let the dominoes fall
Terrified of her malificence

Christine Bolton – Poetry for Healing ©

In response to Linda G Hill’s Stream of Conciousness Saturday – words that include ”dom”

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Meeting

Meeting

The coolness of the marble
Soothed her feeling of duress
Waiting patiently for the outcome
She smoothed down her dress

Looking quickly in her compact
She checked her hair
A stray wisp had escaped
Giving her an eclectic flair

The museum was quiet
She gazed at the artwork
Standing in front of the painting
Her face creased to a smirk

She knew he was there
As his presence was felt
Turning she saw him
And her body began to melt

She had left a trail
Knowing he would follow
He had pursued willingly
Finding her at the Picasso

He said her name out loud
By the sound she was awed
He said with authority
“You are under arrest for art fraud”

 

Christine Bolton – Poetry for Healing ©

Today’s Word Prompts

Marble

Smirk

Duress

Eclectic

Pursue

Compact

 

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Charm

Charm

I am a charming
Choice number three
Three times is a charm
Or so they say
It had better refer to me

Things come in threes
You can live a charmed life
Prince Charming came along
Charmed, I’m sure
Happy to be his wife

Lucky charm around her neck
Charms on a bracelet jingling
Plenty of Southern Charm
Ladies never sweat
In fact they’re glistening

He could charm the pants
Off anyone who’d listen
Although no one cared to
She left for charm school in Europe
Parents paying for her tuition

Someone will sweep her off her feet
He’ll likely be a charmer
He will cheat on her
Three’s a crowd
So who will be his partner?

Christine Bolton – Poetry for Healing ©

Photo by Roberto Nickson (@g) on Unsplash

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Smoke

He slowly rowed the
small boat
to the middle of the lake
never saying where
he was going
Just knowing what to take

Peace and solitude
It was a favorite
way to escape
He went quietly
without a sound
his plan taking shape

No one around
to question his actions
No fear of his daughter
Hell to pay
if she only knew of
his smoke on the water

Christine Bolton – Poetry for Healing ©

In response to Tuesday Writing Prompt from Go Dog Go Cafe – Smoke on the Water (Deep Purple)

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Moonlight

In a moon punctured velvety sky
The stars shone like bright lights
Glinting through pinholes reminiscent of
A thousand and one Arabian nights

A backdrop dramatic in its splendor
Showcasing the beauty of nature’s jewels
She reclined on a blanket of leaves
Her eyes drawing him into her limpid pools

The young and petulant girl had matured
She was now beautiful and seductive
Contrarily he remained socially awkward
Heuristic in his approach and still selective

Her infinite beauty was breathtaking
He felt rooted in the earth
A feeling of inadequacy consumed him
As he suffered in his dearth

She enthralled him on the forest floor
Devouring his manhood as she wished
Helpless in his efforts to dissuade her
Laying still until completely ravished

They lay holding each other tight
As if the other might disappear
Clinging to the sweet memory of love
Staring up at the celestial sphere

She was everything he had dreamed of
Although his superstition had given him fear
She elegantly propped herself on one elbow
And said, “Did you bring any beer?”

Christine Bolton

Word of the Day Challenge: Petulant

Rag Tag Community: Superstition

Fandango One Word Challenge: Fear

Daily Word Prompt: Heuristic

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Introduce

Introduce

Let me introduce to you
Without any further adieu (ado)

The star of tonight’s show
Who is so very eager to go

He has been chomping on the bit
To be on this stage so brightly lit

Making his first appearance
For such an esteemed audience

He has rehearsed for days
In the hope of receiving the praise

For his Tony-worthy performance
Which to him is of the utmost importance

His lines have been memorized
Every possibility analyzed

He is such a professional
He is almost obsessional

His costume impeccable
He looks most respectable

This is his moment as he walks onstage
Everyone cheers, they are on the same page

He takes the microphone from the stand
When suddenly it is grabbed from his hand

What the heck said he
To the person he could see

You are embarrassing me in front of everyone
To which the voice answered, Sir, your fly is undone

Christine Bolton

In response to Word fog The Day:  Introduce

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