The Dark Mind
Why is it possible for someone, who appears to have everything, to be depressed? Why does this happen to people who, to those looking in, seem so happy and content with their lives?
At times in our lives we have all experienced a form of depression and for the most part we understand what has been the cause. Severe emotional distress can send us spiraling downwards. While some of us manage to bounce back from isolated incidents with rational thinking and processing, many cannot do so. Depression can manifest itself in many different ways and is easily mistaken for tiredness, laziness and even rudeness. Finding any one thing to pinpoint the cause of depression can also be confusing for the sufferer. Like many other disorders, clinical depression falls on a continuum, from mild to moderate to severe. A mildly depressed person might feel badly a lot of the time but manage to keep up appearances, whereas a severely depressed person often can’t drag himself or herself out of bed.
I too have had moments of deep sadness, loneliness and confusion but I was fortunate in that I found my way out of the tunnel by writing. I do know someone who suffers from inexplicable depression at times. They find it difficult to explain to non-sufferers and would like nothing more than to be free of those dark feelings.
Below is a poem that I wrote some years ago to describe how I was feeling. It was a confusing and difficult time for me. The writing helped and I encourage anyone struggling with feelings of sadness to do the same. It does not have to take the poetic form; it can be a journal entry where you just let the pain or confusion you are feeling to spill on to a page. I always find it beneficial to keep writing and not stop until I have exorcised all my thoughts. Depression however is a very serious condition and I do not want to make light of it. If you know of someone who is suffering with depression or anxiety please urge him or her to get professional help.
I hope in some small way that you will find this helpful.
Thank you for reading.
Christine
The Dark Mind
I wake with the cloud over my head
I think perhaps it is fear
Which sucks me into the abyss
Where it is impossible to navigate
The way back to sanity
I do not understand
I’m not sure what to do
I must leave this place
And exorcise these feelings
Of impending disaster and failure
My gloomy thoughts need obscurity
The desire for solitude calls me outside
To the soothing blackness of the night
A chill is in the air
And the rain falls in silence
Darkness comes quickly, consuming me
Casting a shadow on the beauty
That is my life
I walk quickly bracing against
The unexpected sudden chill
Collecting the somber thoughts in my head
I ask why does this happen
When everything is so perfect?
There is no reason for my complicated state
So why do I have to carry this albatross on my back?
With a resentful tolerance and
Comprehension of my shortfalls
I accept what is not perfect in me
Knowing there is no explanation
So I will send this unwanted burden on its way
Christine Bolton
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