Category: Pain

Verge

by  • 

You are balancing
On the edge once more
Teetering on the brink
Where will it take you this time
I wonder as my heart again
Drops to the floor

On the verge of explosion
Paralyzed with fear
Will I pull you back
Or let you go
Even if to my detriment
Or do I brave a new frontier

Unpredictability is expected
There is always a blind side
Never seeing it coming
My heart gets attacked
Sometimes I wish for it
And that I would have died

Love going through a meat grinder
Pounded into shreds
What comes out is a mockery
It’s happening again
A relationship in tatters
Lives left in threads

Our nucleus unstable
The contact between us worn thin
Our love’s constellation
Imploding in space
Shattering into fragments
This life in a tailspin

Christine Bolton – Poetry for Healing ©

Word Prompts:

Nucleus

Contact

Constellation

Follow Poetry For Healing on WordPress.com

Debilitating

by  • 

The morning light was squinting
Through the bedroom shades
Few clouds in a sunny sky
The birds singing their serenades

Earl Grey in the teapot
A light breakfast prepared
Saying hello to the day
I thought I was prepared

It happened again
Without any warning
The monster reared its head
Leaving me in mourning

A verbal attack came
From nowhere I could see
Blindsided as usual
While I was drinking my tea

I said I was feeling better
Not a complaint or a question
Yesterday experiencing something minor
A simple statement, not aggression

Then how do I become
the target of your onslaught?
I didn’t do what you suggested
Is that really a fault?

Your words of anger
So hurtful and debilitating
You are angry because what?
I feel like it’s baiting

You are looking for a fight
I never know why
I am so totally unprepared
I have no battle cry

Your reactions to statements
Are so unbelievably strange
You attack and become the victim
Setting a scene to derange

Trying to wrap my arms
Around your state of mind
Incognizant of my own pain
It is you I have to find

Know suggestions can be useful
They are offered to awaken
Like opinions they cost nothing
Don’t be surprised if not taken

If I need help I would ask
If I need a doctor I would deduce
If I need support I would expect
What I don’t need is verbal abuse

Christine Bolton – Poetry for Healing ©

Word of the Day Challenge Debilitate:

Follow Poetry For Healing on WordPress.com

Dreamer

by  • 

The beautiful dreamer
Sat on the cold floor
Head in her hands
Still feeling that slam of the door

As she tried to salvage
The remains of her dignity
She recalled the interaction
And his lack of humanity

Her offering of love
He had dramatically rejected
Laughing at her attempts
Leaving it unrequited

His bourgeois ideology 
Was to her disparaging
Mocking her heritage 
Was hurtfully demeaning

Superior was his attitude
Talking down to her
From his moral high ground 
He was no better than a poseur

Christine Bolton – Poetry for Healing ©

Word Prompts:

Dreamer

Salvage

Unrequited

Ideology

Follow Poetry For Healing on WordPress.com

Confusion

by  • 

There are tears in my throat
Drowning my voice
Unable to surface
It has no other choice

I am emotionally catatonic
As I walk in a trance
Tripping over my own feet
Unable to advance

I steady myself
Before moving any farther
Desperately wanting to recall
What prompted my departure

Taking a giant step backwards
Trying to process events
I choke on the thoughts
Making no sense

How did I arrive here
Alone and mentally spent
Searching for answers
In a spiral of descent

I do not welcome
This confusing mystery
Another burden to carry
Adding to an unseen injury

Wandering aimlessly
With no compass to guide
I have become a lost soul
Left by the wayside

Christine Bolton

Daily Prompts:

Welcome

Steady

Follow Poetry For Healing on WordPress.com

Cover Of Darkness

by  • 

Cover of Darkness

The sun burst forth
In its morning resplendence
Flowers opened their hearts
For the bees’ appetence

This was the day
You returned to me
All those repressed emotions
Were suddenly set free

Optimism and happiness
Took my sadness away
A bright future together
It was meant to be this way

But for sometime now
You have woven a shroud
Heavy and dark
Smothering light like a cloud

Suffocating and repressing
You navigate the darkness with ease
Familiar to you
It is your expertise

A cover of negativity
Asphyxiating and disharmonious
Fabricated of hatred and anger
Ultimately dichotomous

Exposure of pain
So unmercifully hidden
Yearns for a saving breath
Why is it forbidden

Grasping at the cloth
Searching for a hole
So I can breathe the air
And save my wounded soul

Positivity and love
Is not your blanket of comfort
Power and control
Always triumphant

Knowing I’m not the reason
For this obfuscation
Does not excuse your actions
You are rocking our foundation

Happiness is my lifeline
Without it I will suffocate
Let the sunlight through the weave
Why must you arrogate

This dark blanket of desolation
Is slowly killing me
Taking the breath from my body
Why don’t you see?

Christine Bolton

Word of the Day Challenge Exposure

Follow Poetry For Healing on WordPress.com

Melancholy

by  • 

The anger finally subsided
We have gone to different places
The storm raged furiously
You showed so many faces

Feeling shell-shocked
Confusion took its stranglehold
Not knowing which end is up
I feel uncontrolled

Divide and conquer
Who is running this game
We are weakened by this strategy
Our sanity to reclaim

Tempers are tempered
Thoughts to clarify
Where does the fault lie
When we both feel the need to justify

Do not stand in judgment
We are equally to blame
We have forgotten the rules
Of this stupid game

An inexplicable calm
Eventually filled the room
A sense of loss came over me
Dismal and doom

You’re no longer here
I am lonely for you
Lets stop this now
I am melancholy and blue

Christine Bolton

Follow Poetry For Healing on WordPress.com

In response to Fandango’s one one word challenge: Judgement

Trigger

by  • 

Trigger

There is a trigger
I unknowingly squeeze
Time after time
I’m blindsided
God help me please

Not recognizing
All the warning signs
I stumble blindly
On your mood this day
Failing to read between the lines

On reflection
It was there to see
In plain sight
Why did I not know?
So foolish of me

Clear indications
Of your displeasure
Slowly building
Gaining strength
Difficult to measure

I had opportunities
To notice the clues
But once more I failed
Blind to the fact
You would soon accuse

The last interaction
Was highly explosive
We are struggling
To find our way back
From a place so corrosive

More than a squabble
It was a full-blown fight
Once more we jump
On the merry-go-round
Too eager to incite

I don’t know how
To keep us afloat
I navigate your angst
Running on to the rocks
And capsizing the boat

Until we find common ground
And begin the repair
There is no hope for us
We will surely drown
In our mutual despair

Christine Bolton

Daily Word Challenge: Squabble

Follow Poetry For Healing on WordPress.com

Demise

by  • 

Demise

The moody music you are playing
Is no friend to my disposition
I am trying to wrap my arms
Around our imminent demise

Someone so focused and organized
I am at a loss for what to do next
Spinning in circles of confusion
With tears in my eyes

Angry words screamed at each other
Shameful and painful
Why do we do this to each other?
There is never a winner or a prize

Not willing for further confrontation
I slip into the quiet
You are not finished though
And you seek to further chastise

Fleeing to alternative quarters
To avoid another onslaught
I am followed like a shadow
You continue to antagonize

If you don’t want me to respond
Then let this battle cease
You will not wear me down
I will fight until I capsize

Mellifluous words spoken
Would be music to our ears
Why don’t we stop and listen
We are just spewing out lies

Where will this end?
How many times have I asked myself?
I am blinded by many emotions
Which are difficult to rationalize

Frozen in time
I fear the next move
Will you continue to be umbrageous?
Or will we reach a compromise?

Christine Bolton

In response to Cyranny’s Cove Word of the Day: Mellifluous

Follow Poetry For Healing on WordPress.com

Blame

by  • 

Blame

You blame the government
For the news
You blame the news
For more than you can use
You blame the newspaper
For the subscription you can’t cancel
You blame them all it is such a scandal
You blame the restaurant
Your favorite is no longer on the menu
You blame them because
We have to find another venue
You blame me for not wanting to emigrate
Please give it a rest we are at a stalemate
You forget I have already migrated here
Why would I move again because you have the fear
Even our car ride that took us out of town
You were the one who had the meltdown
You are alpha male and king of the road
You would not let me drive you said I drive too slow
You know my car phobia and you paid me lip service
But it so selfishly became your catharsis
You unloaded on me mocking my anxiety
How can I trust an unforgiveable atrocity
Four days of hell that’s what I have been through
Trying to understand all these things that you spew
There are no clues to what will portend
I can only hope this is not the end

Christine Bolton

Follow Poetry For Healing on WordPress.com

Silence

by  • 

Silence

I’ve been here before
I know the drill
From this moment on
It goes downhill

The irritation begins
Nothing I say is right
In fact it is all so wrong
And you’re ready to fight

I try to reason
It is going nowhere
It’s hard to understand
As I watch you flare

I will not give up yet
Because this is so stupid
Although reasoning with you
Is always disputed

Eventually my will is broken
And silence ensues
It’s a familiar tactic
And you will always accuse

Silence really is golden
When no one speaks
The fighting stops
The paranoia peaks

Memories from childhood
Surge to the front
As the child in the middle
I bore the brunt

Parents always fighting
I was the referee
They would refuse to speak
Unless it was through me

It’s all so familiar
I’m almost a pro
I could go the distance
In this debacle of a show

There is no claim to fame
There are only losers here
Break the cycle now
Or just disappear

Christine Bolton

Follow Poetry For Healing on WordPress.com

%d bloggers like this: