Tag: Heal

From a Dark Place

I wrote this poem at a low point in my life when I had experienced emotional pain.  I felt helpless in my situation and was sure my heart was broken irreparably and my head would certainly explode.  When I look back on poems such as this, I am always so taken aback by the darkness of my thoughts and the sheer helplessness that I felt at that time. I eventually got beyond the hurt and was able to live a happy life again, but I find it quite shocking to revisit that state of mind.  Just the act of writing down these feelings has proven to be therapeutic.  It shows me that by letting my words flow onto paper, to describe those emotions and question why, I was able to heal and move on.

I hope these words of mine will somehow resonate with you.

Despair

The darkness came so suddenly
Enveloping me and dragging me into a pit of despair
Blinded and scratching for clarity
Shocked by the swiftness of events, I call to you
You do not hear

You do not listen, you are closed
What is evident is your hurt and anger
As much as I try, you resist me
I want to help and heal your wounds
That were so carelessly inflicted in your past

Dazed and confused
I am lost without you
My love spurned and my efforts rejected
My promise to keep you safe from future pain
Falls on deaf ears

The loss of you is too much to bear
My hurt is deep
Like the slice of a knife through my heart
It will not heal
I did not know how broken you were
And now I know to my detriment

Christine Bolton

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My Reality Check

Travel Is Good For The Soul

I can’t believe it has been a month since my last (first) blog!  I had the good fortune to travel to Switzerland and Italy and remember what it is like to be European.  Having lived in the USA for half of my life I am sometimes confused internally where I actually hail from.  I usually know the moment I arrive as it feels as if someone has taken my hand and said “welcome home”.  It’s like putting on a comfortable pair of shoes or running into an old friend. I feel grounded.

The cleanliness of Switzerland and the efficiency of its people reminded me of their sensibility.  A time and place for everything, courtesy is given and expected in return, attention is paid to how one dresses and subsequently perceived.   It is proper and civilized and a reminder of how things used to be.

Italy was like being welcomed home by your mother.  Warm and wonderful with no shortage of good food!  A healthy respect for family and heritage. If I feel starved of culture living in Florida, then a visit to this little country possessing more World Heritage Sites than any other, certainly took care of that for me!

So why am I sharing this with you?  This trip touched my heart and soul and in a strange way it brought me peace.  Sometimes our heads are so full of our responsibilities that we feel that we might just explode.  No matter how busy we are, how big our workload, how little time we have to just be ourselves, how hurt we can feel at low points in our lives, it is knowing that there are options to help our healing.   There is only so much we can do for others and because we are stretched we forget to take care of ourselves. Taking a walk to blow off the cobwebs, even if it’s in the rain. Visiting a museum or gallery and appreciating a piece of artwork. Observing other families and how they interact with each other. All of these suggestions work for me but one of my favorites is to pick up a journal or notebook and begin writing. It is portable and it is something that can go with you anywhere. 

Our words are our power and the written word gives us the ability to heal ourselves from within. It is an outlet for frustrations and fears and a platform for our feelings.  Just by going through the motions of laying it out on paper we are opening our minds to possible answers.

Thank you for reading my blog.  Until the next time …

Christine Bolton

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Poetry from the Heart

Poetry from The Heart

The day is fresh and new and filled with unique experiences.  Today we talk about poetry from the heart and how words can heal and inspire us to do great things in this world.

We have all experienced heartache and we turn to different things for comfort and clarity.  In my case I had the need to speak.  When I was younger I would continually ask “Why?” to whoever would listen to me.  I never understood the pain I was feeling and yearned for explanation.  Maybe because I was a child, or perhaps in those days there such a stigma associated with emotional pain,  I could never find the answers I wanted from people.  Instead I found comfort in writing down my experiences.  In the beginning they were just words, such as ‘this hurts’ or ‘what just happened?’  In time they began to flow more freely and took the form of a poem.  The more I wrote, the calmer I became, and just laying down my feelings on paper was therapeutic.  My own words soothed me and gave me an extraordinary strength.  I was highly emotional when I picked up a pen but by the time I had written my last word I felt an immense calm as if I had meditated.

When I look back on poems or journals I have written, I sometimes have to catch my breath.  When we are at peace  with ourselves and have the opportunity to revisit our thoughts from an earlier time it can be quite shocking.  It makes me feel sad to think I was so unhappy and feeling so much angst.  As a result some of my poems can be quite dark but I think they are relatable.  I am however concentrating on writing something more uplifting and positive.  It is so much easier when you are in control and managing your personal pain.

The beauty of our lives is that we can continually learn about the world, ourselves and others.  We should always be open to change, which is of course is inevitable, and learn some new ways of coping.

I invite you to enjoy my poetry and other things that I will share with you.  Please follow my blog and hopefully I will inspire you to write down your thoughts and form beautiful poetry for yourself.

Until the next time.

Christine

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