Tag: Heart

Escape from Chaos

Desperate to escape the chaos
I reach for my formula of medicine
Journal and writing implements in hand
Slipping quietly into oblivion

My thoughts become an epiphany
Exploding in my head
Furiously I write them down
Capturing all before they are dead

The clear night
Gave forth to brilliant stars
Lighting the sky
Like a fireflies in jars

The soft breeze
Was calming my soul
Musical leaves fluttering
I will soon again be whole

My words move quickly
Across the page
Reminiscent of ballerinas
Dancing on a stage

My heart empties
Its tears of pain
Forming verse so beautiful
Reminding me I am sane

When inside my head
Becomes dark and captured
I can set the demons free
With writings enraptured

Flowing effortlessly
Like waters in a stream
Unleashed onto paper
As if in a dream

Therapy for my head
The jumbled pieces of my brain
Coming together in harmony
My heart does not beat in vain

The pen is mightier than the sword
My words are my power
Grounded by my enlightenment
While adversaries inhabit ivory towers

Christine Bolton

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Affinity

Affinity

We are drifting apart
No words have been spoken
We no longer seem to have an affinity
The string on our yo-yo is broken

Like running against the wind
Or going in different directions
Our one has become two
And we have lost our connection

It is debilitating
To lose our other half
Sadness engulfs
And we no longer laugh

Not being with you
Can hurt so much
Like walking with a limp
When there used to be a crutch

Where did this go wrong
I will never understand
We were two peas in a pod
Anything we could withstand

My sense of self
Has begun to wane
An amputee
Suffering a loss with pain

The gild came off the rose
Followed by our rift
We did not take care
Of our precious gift

Our two broken pieces
Will never be mended
Damage was done
But any harm unintended

What is to be the next step
We will have to decide
I fear I will wander aimlessly
Without you at my side

Christine Bolton

Word Prompt of the Day Affinity

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Crestfallen

Crestfallen

She reached the giddy heights
Soaring like the birds
Her heart racing, pushing her there
At the sound of his loving words

Head over heels
Heartbeats out of whack
What is this drug she is on
Bouncing like a jumping jack

Where did he come from
Crashing into her world
Spinning her out of control
Forcing her wings unfurled

He freed her from her prison
Of dark thoughts and neglect
Come fly with me he said
And she did not object

Together they traveled
To places faraway
Never leaving each other’s side
Promising to always stay

They clung together like glue
But his eyes began to wander
His attention scattered
She had reason to ponder

I’m tired of you
He eventually said
Crestfallen she answered
You are such a dick head

Christine Bolton

Word of the Day: Crestfallen

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Broken

Broken
Broken like the clock
On the mantle
Broken like the wing
Of a Bird
Broken like
The egg in the bowl
Broken like the silence
Of the words never heard

A heart left in pieces
After you rendered your speech
You have exited my world
And you are now out of reach

Feeling shattered and
Broken in a thousand parts
It is the sliver of glass
That is optimism in my heart

I struggle to sweep the
Remaining fragments of my dream
Strewn in explosion
A world of hope to redeem

Broken like branches of a tree
That has slowly bent and withered
I am crippled by the performance
So cruelly delivered

Broken is my spirit
Reparation unlikely to come
Broken is this heart
The grief to which I must succumb

Christine Bolton

In response to today’s Word Prompt – Broken

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Juxtapose

Juxtapose

Opposites attract
Looking ill at ease
Their differences obvious
Like chalk and cheese

Their ability is
To look within
Their similarities
Is where they begin

Their outsides are
Merely just an overcoat
Which can be shed
Without anyone’s vote

Unaffected by the inconsistency
Of their packaging
They unite in harmony
Rising above remarks so damaging

Fearless fighters
Overcoming adversity
They protect each other
Ignoring the absurdity

Their heads held high
They partner side by side
Looking an odd pair
With noting to hide

Love is blind
But they see so clearly
The heart of each other
Given so sincerely

Christine Bolton

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Downward Spiral

The feeling of hopelessness
Covers me in its dark shroud
I am dragged into this pit
Of gloom and I go willingly

The barometric pressure of the day
Is wreaking havoc in my mind
Confusion has become a familiar companion
On my journey into this wilderness

Clarity is nowhere to be found
As I stumble on the rocks of desperation
Blindly searching for reasons why
My life has put me here

Spiraling downward out of control
I reach for something to break my fall
Words of reason are lost in this fog
Incomprehensibly jumbled and out of my grasp

My ascent from this purgatory
Is hindered by such feelings of despondency
With my energy drained
I fear I will drown in my misery

In time the greyness of the sky
Pulls me slowly from the blackness
The accompanying wind pushing me up
So that I may breathe again

Christine Bolton

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Can you grieve the loss of something you never had?

Can you grieve the loss of something you never had?

The answer, simply, is yes.

A young friend of mine has just shared some sad news.  She was pregnant for the first time but had a miscarriage a few days ago. She and her husband looked forward to this special event with a guarded optimism.  They had kept their special secret until the first trimester had passed and for all intents and purposes my friend should have moved into the dreamy second trimester.

My heart goes out to her at such a difficult time, as I personally know the devastation she is feeling, not just from the physical pain, but the emotional pain that will unfortunately stay with her for a very long time. Unless you have gone through such a traumatic experience it can be incomprehensible.

In my case I realized something was terribly wrong. I knew what was happening and there was nothing I could do about it.  I prayed it was just a scare and not a miscarriage but it was too late.  I will never forget how I felt and what a severe sense of loss I experienced.  It was so profound and it stayed with me for a long time.  I managed to be rational, and realized I would recover eventually, but the miscarriage was hard to accept.  Naturally there is an emotional connection between a mother and her baby in the womb, so the sense of loss was real.  There is also the loss of future.  Hopes and dreams dashed through no fault of anyone.  It’s also possible to feel guilt at this time because you think of all the other expectant mothers who experience not one but multiple miscarriages and they manage to go on, never giving up on their dream.

My young friend will experience all of these confusing thoughts.  Her physical pain will pass quickly but her emotional pain will stay with her for a long time.  She is brave and has youth on her side so I am certain she will have every opportunity to experience life’s miracle and have the family future she longs for and rightly deserves.

The following poem came to me quickly perhaps because it came from a personal experience. I hope you enjoy it.

Loss

My heart is full with news to share
We learn we will no longer be a just a pair

An addition to our family will come in June
Such excitement all around, it can’t come too soon

Things to consider and people to tell
Names thrown around like Anna and Rafael

I am so full of joy my mind is racing
Things to buy and bargains for chasing

A room to decorate and fill with love
A precious gift as if sent from above

But the black cloud came and darkened our lives
Stripped us of happiness and cut like a knife

Swift was its blow that knocked us down
The pain hurts so much I think we will drown

The loss is difficult and hard to comprehend
What did we do wrong for our joy to end?

The sunshine has disappeared and the skies are gray
Try again, we are told, it is going to be okay

It happens frequently or so it appears
But it’s hard to accept what has happened right here

We will cross the bridge that lies up ahead
Confident that our future will not hang by a thread

To lose something you never had is somehow surreal
But with love and understanding we will begin to heal

The creation we lost will stay in our hearts forever
One day soon another will come, so never say never

Christine Bolton

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The Wait

THE WAIT

I have searched for you
in my life
Knowing you were always there
dancing around me
but never my partner
Passing by me
invisible to the eye
So many years growing
and learning apart

Not seeing you
but knowing you
Feeling you
without your touch
Wishing for you
to hold my hand
in life
To dry my tears
Where were you?

Why did I not
know you before?
Our lives to be lived
separately
for reasons we do not know
You are the piece
that was missing
The Yang to my Yin
The start and the finish

You finally heard my cry
You have come to me
And you have
taken my heart
Replacing the emptiness
that was always there
You have filled my senses
and now
you live with my soul

Christine Bolton – Poetry for Healing ©

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Again – Poem of the Month – March 2018

Monotony, Same thing over again

Again

I have been here before
This place, this time
It feels the same
My heart feels the same
The date is the same
The year is different
What does it matter
The traditions of this day
Cause more pain and
More questions than necessary
I fall victim to this celebratory
Time again and again
It means nothing to me anymore
Once it was the hope
The expectation
Of things to come
Now it is a chore
A day to be spent alone again
Every year for whatever reason
It is inconsequential
It is underwhelming
It is dull
Next year I will disappear
From time and space
So I do not have to answer
Those inevitable questions

Christine Bolton

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Poetry from the Heart

Poetry from The Heart

The day is fresh and new and filled with unique experiences.  Today we talk about poetry from the heart and how words can heal and inspire us to do great things in this world.

We have all experienced heartache and we turn to different things for comfort and clarity.  In my case I had the need to speak.  When I was younger I would continually ask “Why?” to whoever would listen to me.  I never understood the pain I was feeling and yearned for explanation.  Maybe because I was a child, or perhaps in those days there such a stigma associated with emotional pain,  I could never find the answers I wanted from people.  Instead I found comfort in writing down my experiences.  In the beginning they were just words, such as ‘this hurts’ or ‘what just happened?’  In time they began to flow more freely and took the form of a poem.  The more I wrote, the calmer I became, and just laying down my feelings on paper was therapeutic.  My own words soothed me and gave me an extraordinary strength.  I was highly emotional when I picked up a pen but by the time I had written my last word I felt an immense calm as if I had meditated.

When I look back on poems or journals I have written, I sometimes have to catch my breath.  When we are at peace  with ourselves and have the opportunity to revisit our thoughts from an earlier time it can be quite shocking.  It makes me feel sad to think I was so unhappy and feeling so much angst.  As a result some of my poems can be quite dark but I think they are relatable.  I am however concentrating on writing something more uplifting and positive.  It is so much easier when you are in control and managing your personal pain.

The beauty of our lives is that we can continually learn about the world, ourselves and others.  We should always be open to change, which is of course is inevitable, and learn some new ways of coping.

I invite you to enjoy my poetry and other things that I will share with you.  Please follow my blog and hopefully I will inspire you to write down your thoughts and form beautiful poetry for yourself.

Until the next time.

Christine

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