Tag: sadness

Banjo

Banjo

It was early in the day
The market street was busy
An average sized crowd had gathered
He played sitting on a high stool
Banjo boy why are you not in school

The music was amazing
His talent evident
He looked thirteen years of age
Certainly nobody’s fool
Banjo boy why are you not in school

There was cash thrown into his case
His audience was enthralled
By the artistry he displayed
Mesmerized by his stringed tool
Banjo boy why are you not in school

His jeans were raggedy
Shoes worn and soiled
Hair unwashed and straggly
But still he was pretty cool
Banjo boy why are you not in school?

On closer look
There was sadness in his eyes
He looked a little malnourished
Under that sweater of wool
Banjo boy why are you not in school

Likely homeless or a peddler
Making money with his gift
Impressing all with his music
His situation seeming cruel
Banjo boy why are you not in school

His flair for performance
Was evident in his ease
The dirty street was his oasis
Convenient and free was the rule
Banjo boy why are you not in school

I stared at him through a prism
Seeing his potential multiplied
Wishing him the success he needed
To extricate himself from this cesspool
Banjo boy why are you not in school

 

Christine Bolton – Poetry for Healing ©

Word Prompts:

Average

Convenient

Oasis

Peddler

Prism

Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash

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Affinity

Affinity

We are drifting apart
No words have been spoken
We no longer seem to have an affinity
The string on our yo-yo is broken

Like running against the wind
Or going in different directions
Our one has become two
And we have lost our connection

It is debilitating
To lose our other half
Sadness engulfs
And we no longer laugh

Not being with you
Can hurt so much
Like walking with a limp
When there used to be a crutch

Where did this go wrong
I will never understand
We were two peas in a pod
Anything we could withstand

My sense of self
Has begun to wane
An amputee
Suffering a loss with pain

The gild came off the rose
Followed by our rift
We did not take care
Of our precious gift

Our two broken pieces
Will never be mended
Damage was done
But any harm unintended

What is to be the next step
We will have to decide
I fear I will wander aimlessly
Without you at my side

Christine Bolton

Word Prompt of the Day Affinity

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Downward Spiral

The feeling of hopelessness
Covers me in its dark shroud
I am dragged into this pit
Of gloom and I go willingly

The barometric pressure of the day
Is wreaking havoc in my mind
Confusion has become a familiar companion
On my journey into this wilderness

Clarity is nowhere to be found
As I stumble on the rocks of desperation
Blindly searching for reasons why
My life has put me here

Spiraling downward out of control
I reach for something to break my fall
Words of reason are lost in this fog
Incomprehensibly jumbled and out of my grasp

My ascent from this purgatory
Is hindered by such feelings of despondency
With my energy drained
I fear I will drown in my misery

In time the greyness of the sky
Pulls me slowly from the blackness
The accompanying wind pushing me up
So that I may breathe again

Christine Bolton

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Disaster

Disaster

In the wake of disaster
I swim in turbulent waters
I drown in sorrow

The water takes me down
So I can wallow in my sadness
It is the end of my world

I let it take me to wherever
Nothing matters anymore
My life is over as I know it

Wait

This is wrong
This is for me to decide
What am I doing?

I cannot let this suck the life from me
I kick hard and force my legs to push me up
Fight and fight hard

No one can take this away from me
Even though I was robbed mercilessly
Of my love, my self-respect

My heart is strong enough to repair
My dignity resilient
My soul you can never take

At the surface I gasp for breath
Drawing it deep into my lungs
I will survive

Christine Bolton

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Infect

Infect me with your disdain
So that I can feel your pain

Cover me with your words
And I will be your songbird

Infect me with your madness
I will wallow in luxurious sadness

Your attention could fill me to the brim
I don’t care if I sink or swim

Infect me with your poison
So my life’s blood flows crimson

Use me whichever way you want
I am yours to play with and taunt

Infect me with your anger
I am numb from everyone’s candor

This way I will feel alive
Even if it’s me you despise

Infect me with hope and longing
And I will come crawling

Give me just once chance
To taste the sweetness of romance

Infect me with your love
We go together like hand in glove

Destined for each other we will be
It is inevitable don’t you see

Christine Bolton

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Love and Pain – How Animals Enrich Our Lives

Sienna

I know they are not, but in my opinion these two words, love and pain, should be synonymous.  One doesn’t exist without the other and they are the evil twins of vocabulary.  The good twin gives the love and the evil twin delivers the pain.

Love is our oxygen.  We breathe it in and we feel our spirits lift to the point of being light-headed and giddy. Just when we are drunk on love, it gets snatched away and we suffer with the pain like a hangover.  I much prefer love.

When I reflect on love and pain I first think of the happiness and anguish of human relationships, although the same applies to the bond we have with our pets.  We have come to rely on them for companionship and of course love, but more and more, we depend on them as service dogs or service animals to help us both physically and emotionally.  They are an important part of our lives and as a result deep bonds are formed.  I began to think about all the animals that came in and out of my life and what they meant to me.

I must say of every pet I have owned, whether cats, dogs, tortoises, fish, small birds, exotic big birds and horses, they all presented me with a personality that was suited to mine at that time in my life.  I fondly remember some of the antics of my menagerie of pets over the years and the unconditional love they gave me.

My first cat as a child became my best friend who endured hours of torture being dressed in baby clothes and wheeled around in a stroller. He was so much more fun than a doll. As I would lay on the floor doing my homework, and usually fretting over it, he would climb onto my back and park there, purring, for the duration.  He was the best buddy an 8 year-old girl could have.

One time I came home from work to find my young Golden Retriever had chewed every possible thing he could reach, from hairbrush to can opener to gnawing right through the drywall until he reached the stud.  He was actually sitting triumphantly on top of the dining room table when I came into the house.  What could you do?

Then there was the duckling that waddled out from under the couch one evening as I watched TV.  Where he came from I’ll never know and the cat just sat there washing himself nonchalantly as if it had absolutely nothing to do with him.

I still wonder how, and which one of the three cats I owned, managed to get the live pigeon through the cat door and let him live until I came home from work.  I’ll never forget unlocking the door and all three black cats were lined up in the hallway staring at me as I entered.  I remember thinking that didn’t look right.  I turned around to close the front door and there sat the terrified pigeon. Who knows how long he had been sitting there.  Poor thing.  He could have had a heart attack as they probably taunted him for hours.

Then there was my sweet Mastiff who, while carrying a headless squirrel in her mouth, tried to bring it into the house for me. This beautiful docile dog was so excited to share it!  Have you ever tried blocking a determined 150 lb. dog from coming through a door? It wasn’t easy. I still refuse to believe she decapitated it, but it still haunts me.

Every one of these wonderful, funny creatures, and others I have not mentioned, brought such pleasure to my life, and for the small price of a good home and some food, they gave me so much love and some pretty unusual gifts!  If I was sad, a head would plop onto my lap or a paw would be laid on my knee. Or that purring in my ear and a kitty cat shoulder massage would bring a smile to my face and make my troubles disappear.  I remember sitting in my horse’s stall and crying over something that would bring an end to the world, and he would nicker just to let me know it was OK.  Happy days for them would be a car ride, always guaranteed to excite, maybe picking out a new toy at the pet store, or a gallop across the fields.  Their needs were so simple and all they wanted was to be with me.  Unfortunately our pet’s time with us is not long but the pleasure they bring lasts a lifetime.  Although I never will understand how man’s best friend, can live such a short life and a parrot or tortoise can live until they are 75!

When the dreadful day comes and the Evil Twin pays a visit, some difficult decisions have to be made.  This is hard on all of us and facing the inevitable can be heart wrenching.  It hasn’t been too long since we said goodbye to our Chocolate Lab.  We were not given the opportunity to even make that difficult decision as she was taken from us so suddenly by a freakish, large dog condition and could not be saved.  It was a devastating loss and we still have moments of such sorrow when she pops into our minds or we see another Lab.  I wrote the following poem shortly after losing her and I read it whenever I am feeling sad or I’m reminded of her.  It always helps and brings a smile to my face as I remember her sweetness.

I hope it reminds you of a four-legged friend or dear pet that might have lost.

Thank you for reading this.

Christine

Sienna

Your restless feet in the morning, anxious to communicate
Always thoughtful and considerate, but you could barely wait
Even when you needed our attention, you wanted to please
But we loved you so dearly we would drop to our knees

Sienna, your sweet look, always a happy puppy-doodle-doo
Your daily ritual meant we had so much love for you
You had your order of how things should be
And we followed you through the motions because your joy was ours, you see

Our world revolved around you and your happiness was important
Whatever it took and no matter the cost, we would never be complacent
We were blessed with your warmth and goodness every day
But what a cruel world it was that took you away

Our sadness and grief are beyond unbearable
And the loss of you completely unacceptable
Our memories are fresh in our hearts and will not fade soon
Our thoughts of you warm and loving and should be placed in a balloon

We would then send it up, way into the sky
Off into the wild blue yonder where dogs might fly
With a wish that it would find you somewhere, happy, healthy and content
And you would read our words to know that for us, it was as if you never went

You will never be forgotten and hope you are not alone
Our love for you is deep, as if carved in stone
We miss you so much our sweet chocolate dog
If we spell dog backwards then there is a God

Christine Bolton

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The Death of a Cardinal

Just last week a neighbor called to ask a favor.  She was at work and received news that her 97 year old mother-in-law, who lives in an assisted living facility, was not doing well and was taken to the hospital with a suspected stroke.  Our neighbor requested that we help with her dog while she rushed to the hospital.  We listened to her instructions as to where the leash was kept, how to coax the dog down the stairs to go outside, and lastly where the reward treats were kept.  Of course we were happy to help our dear neighbor but felt sad for what could be her impending loss.  As we walked next door we stopped in our tracks because laying there on her driveway was a beautiful male cardinal, dead.  He was so beautiful.  Of course his color was striking but to see him laying there, with no outward signs of distress, was quite shocking considering the task at hand.  Was it an omen?  Was it a sign of inevitable passing? All these crazy things went through our minds.  We were worried for our neighbor, her dog and now this.

As it turned out, her mother-in-law improved later that day and there was no evidence of stroke.  She was experiencing some kind of infection so everything turned out well.  So what of the Cardinal? I picked him up and buried him in the garden with a covering of leaves.  I said a word of thanks for his life and felt a sadness come over me.  Who knows what happened to him.  Perhaps he flew into an oncoming car, or just died of old age.  It was hard to tell but it did stir something in me. I began to think about birds in general and how their behavior is so similar to humans.  They mate for life, building a nest to share with their partner.  They raise their family in that nest until the young are ready to spread their wings and fly away. The melancholy feeling stayed with me for several days and I subsequently wrote this poem.  I hope you will understand and enjoy it.

Death of a Cardinal

A flash of scarlet caught my eye
A cardinal had come down from the sky

I wondered how could that be?
He was too old to have fallen from a tree

He lay there with not a sign of breath
So beautiful but clearly this was his death

I found him alone in someone’s driveway
With no visible damage as he peacefully lay

I imagined his mate full of concern
What did she think when he did not return

Do they mourn like us when a loved one is lost?
Save face in front of the babies no matter the cost

These things always go through my mind
Is sorrow just for the likes of mankind?

Birds have partners as humans do
We all breathe and breed and need food too

We love and nurture those we love
So why did this Cardinal come down from above

It made me realize that life is to be treasured
Who dies and why is not to be measured

This beautiful bird was laid in a leafy grave
With my word of thanks for the joy he gave

Christine Bolton

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